I’m here. I think I might be dealing with some more depression than usual.  I’d like to apologize for not posting anything more recently, but I’m sort of not really sorry. I felt like shit, writing about it was boring. I love my sister. I love cats. I like color. Swords was pregnant, now she has a kid. You’re caught up.

Oh wait, no, there’s that part where I was going to marry my girlfriend from highschool (we’d been back together ish ,the way we do. did.) and then she accepted a second proposal from her then-ex as a ‘getting back together’ grand gesture without talking to me about it first. Her 55 year old, emotionally abusive ex. That happened. I don’t really want to talk about it.

I moved out thisaway, living with Swords and her husband (and now the hatchling), and their cats. The cats are important. I like cats. I got a job.

Now you’re caught up.

(The hatchling’s important too, but I figure most people will take that for granted. Actually everyone here’s important. It’s pretty great.) Though I’m edging closer and closer toward needing my own space. Which is good, because Swords and co. are needing theirs back, too. Finding somewhere doable’s a little tricky. I have a lot of crap. Possibly some of it can go into ‘storage’ in Swords’ basement, but I’m still used to more square footage than what’s on offer in my budget.

My job is hard and I love it. Possibly because it’s hard, which is a thing I have known about myself but will forget anytime I have the opportunity to do so. My life would be so much easier if I could like my life while not doing hard things.  But apparently no really, anything worth doing is hard.

And my job is. It really, really is, and people keep telling me I’m doing a good job but I don’t believe it yet. My patient care keeps getting better, but not really faster, so currently my 7-3 shift starts at 645 and ends at 5. I got out at 330 once. 430 happens, 4 oclock has happened a couple times but most days? 5 is a solid bet. On the plus side, I really can’t bring my work home, HIPAA says so.

I keep thinking maybe I should try dating someone, but a) I have high standards and b)I’m not certain I want to be dating anyone even if they did meet those standards. Possibly (probably) this has something to do with the bit above I don’t want to talk about, but I’d like to believe it’s unrelated because there’s jack shit I can do about that mess.

But like. I have health insurance and a PCP. I have an income. I’m paying money on my student loans. I’m semi-adulting with moderate success.


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